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Selections From
The Twist-o-Plasty Series

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Preview opening lines from
some of the many stories
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"I just finished reading Amazon and The Ten Year Old Head. Both are, at the same time, wonderful and disturbing."
-- A film producer inquiring about movie rights



plastic surgery story The Ten Year Old Head
Julie died at eighty, but her head was only ten...
Rumpled Still Skin
Last patient of the morning, face-lift in ten minutes, the need to catch up. I grab the chart off the rack, tap on the door, and walk in. A clown sitting in the exam chair points a gun at me...
to the dogs icon To The Dogs
There was a time when I, a surgeon to the lifted and tucked, spent the greater part of my day contemplating bums...
Second Opinion
Arnold was born with his head connected backwards but felt neither bitter nor depressed and held no grudge against his parents. He tried to see the best in all things, including himself and the people around him, even in those who stared and pointed and laughed. There was, however, one goal that now consumed his thoughts and overrode all other considerations. After twenty-two years, Arnold was bored with his sedentary lifestyle. More than anything else, he wanted to learn to run...
executive reform Executive Reform
Last patient of the morning, tummy tuck in ten minutes, the need to catch-up. I grab the chart off the rack, knock once on the door, and hurry in. Admiring himself in a hand-mirror sits the President of the United States...
apples and honey icon Apples and Honey
Apples and Honey were genetic mirror-images of one another, identical twin sisters from Pasadena who until the age of seventeen seemed all but indistinguishable. Then Honey flew off her boyfriend's motorcycle and landed in the Huntington Hospital ICU...
robotic plastic surgery Horowitz The Surgeon
Tired out from a full day of surgery and with a mild headache from too much self-analysis, Dr. Horowitz hopped into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek, and snuggled his head into his NASA-foam pillow. As his mind sucked itself into a tunnel, the realization hit...
the performer The Performer
Everyone was watching but nobody was seeing. Lily motioned for the audience to go quiet, lifted her scalpel, and applied it to the skin. There was a thin line between cosmetic surgery and mutilation and it was the prospect of crossing over this boundary that seemed of most interest to the crowd...
Spontaneous Propulsion
Weasel had a vision each time his eyes popped out...
breast surgery story Amazon
Dr. Olsen stood before me and professed to have stumbled upon a brilliant idea with the potential to turn the world of plastic surgery on its ear (or maybe he said 'rear', I honestly can't remember now because my insides were on fire)...
plastic surgeon story A Part of Them
Christine Edmonson, my Century City law partner of six years, broke the news bluntly. "The nerdy narcissist doctor drowned himself..."
club 472 Club 472: A Found Confession
As a man who has devoted his life to the eyelid, I can say with the highest degree of authority that to achieve a perfect result in cosmetic eye surgery, or blepharoplasty, requires one hundred forty-two main steps. Not one hundred forty-one, not one hundred forty-three. One hundred forty-two. Exactly...
male face lift Gutted
Her lids felt like closing as her tired gaze wandered cautiously towards the next line of waiting customers. He was still there, staring at her from behind dropped sunglasses...
Helluva Good Time
I used to be a psychologist who lived in a Brentwood condo and drove a BMW. Today I'm a full-time working artist struggling to make ends meet, fantasizing about one day being discovered, for now content simply to finish off my day smeared head to toe in luscious paint. For this, I can only thank Mark Ness. Whenever I think back to the how and why, I always recall that pivotal first visit from the flamboyant Lady Cromwell...
pierced Rings In Her Fingers and Bells Through Her Nose
She may have weighed ninety pounds, but only if you included all the metal dangling from her pierced and tattooed skin. With body fat approaching nil, this gothic supermodel demanded to be thinner. No way, I told her, that simply issn't possible. Not so, she replied politely in her charming Bristish accent, I know of a way to do it....
the space between The Space Between
In a historic and ground-breaking discovery, researchers from the Theophysical Research Institute associated with Stanford University reporting in the current issues of both the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and the Journal of the American Association of Cosmetic Dentists have identified the precise anatomic location of the human soul...
wear no crown Bear a Cross, Wear No Crown
The weight of guilt, son, is gonna drag you down...
beatrice B
Beatrice DeeDee Urr hated her name. The first part sounded like it came straight out of the 1800s, the middle from the 1950s, and the last more like a grunt from the Stone Age. Instead, she went by B. Not Bea, a spelling that called to mind her fat aunt baking pies, and not Bee, like the golden insect whose stinger packed a wallop. Just plain B, the second letter of the English alphabet...
remedies Remedies of the Numbing Kind
The bottle's empty, the pills are gone, your time is up. Now look me in the eyes, you quack, and lie again before you can't. It's your mantra, darling, so say it one last time: Everything's going to be all right...
chemical peel story Rosalyn's Face
Rosalyn lost her face in the shower. It peeled off under the hot water and washed away down the drain...
Sympathetic Ophthalmia (Murder Five)
He couldn't have known who I was, but I sure knew him. Sitting in my exam chair was The Reverend Tommy Gooden, a bible-beating devil dodger once based in Shreveport who now ministered to a global congregation three times weekly and twice on Sundays, his wild combed-up brows and Elmer Gantry oratory beamed worldwide via cable, satellite, and the Internet from a soundstage in downtown Pasadena. Standing next to him was a heroin-thin waif with bouncing orange curls, pouting red lips, and inordinately large breasts, one of which, I swear, had been nuzzled up against the preacher's pink chubby jowl...
informed consent Informed Consent
I'm married to a plastic surgeon who refuses to operate on me...
facleland logo Faceland
Sing along: We're going to Faceland, Faceland, Memphis, Tennessee. We're going to Faceland, Faceland...
celestial lift Celestial Lift
For years now, the trend had been towards warm and cuddly names designed to attract the unwary. Still, this operation's moniker not only put the rest to shame but lured a clientele unlike all others...
sweet little thing Sweet Little Thing
She looked mighty riled, 'bout to start bawlin'. "No hurt, no hurt," she cried like a plucked chicken squeakin'. Papa Ben was damn proud of this grandbaby of his, not even two and with a memory that forgot nuthin'. He grinned as he jabbed the needle into the vial. "Bless your little heart, darlin', and don't you fret," he said in a twangy drawl, texture like gravel, a Marlboro danging from the corner of his mouth and smothering them both in luscious smoke. He lifted the syringe and squirted out the bubbles. "No highfalutin cutter's gonna ever touch you agin"...
The Chest That Launched a Thousand Slips
Last patient of the morning, surgical staff meeting at noon, the need to catch-up. I grab the chart off the rack, don't recognize the name, knock once on the door, and walk in. A big man sitting in the exam chair points a gun at me...
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Volume One of The Twist-o-Plasty Series is set to appear in early 2018. To receive notification, join our mailing list.
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